Today marked 100 days until my wedding. With just over three months until I am supposed to be getting ready to walk down the aisle I have a list of things I am supposed to be doing – from picking my veil to deciding what my flower girl wears – but all of that is on hold. Because I am postponing my wedding. (Insert tears, many tears).
Making this call was incredibly difficult, but in my heart of hearts I know it is the right thing to do. I have only told a dozen or so people and while half completely understood and sympathized, the other half have asked why? Well to clear this up, it has nothing to do with Mark and my relationship status – we are great (or as great as one can be in lockdown). The reason? One word. “Pandemic”. And yes, I am fully aware this is not a new thing, but given the state of the virus in both the United States and the United Kingdom having dozens of people gather May 8th is just not a sensible thing to do.
While I originally only told a handful of people right now a version of the card above is making its way around the globe letting our guests know we are moving from a Spring wedding to a Fall one. And because I have trouble putting this into words I borrowed a suggested text “Due to COVID-19, we’ve decided to postpone our wedding. Your health and safety are our top priority, and we hope you’ll save our new date. We wish you and your loved ones all the best, and look forward to celebrating together!” So there you have it.
The other question people keep asking “are you okay?” And to be honest, no. I am not okay. I am extremely sad. I love Mark, I can not wait for him to be my husband, and I was counting down the days. With London in lockdown not being able to go to work, the shops, the theater, restaurants, to see friends, or really to leave the house at all May 8th was my bright spot on the horizon.
To try and move past this I am attempting to put in into context – I am healthy, safe, have a roof over my head, food to eat, a job, and someone who loves me – and there are many far worse off. I do know this and I am grateful but that does not mean it does not still suck. And while I really do not owe anyone an explanation I find this space a therapeutic outlet so here are a few of the reasons I am postponing my wedding beyond the word pandemic (not in order):
- I value the health and safety of our friends and family and given the delays in vaccines, particularly in the US, I estimate more than 90% of guests will not have received even their first dose by early May
- The inability for Mark and I to travel due to the London lockdown – with headlines like “”Too early’ to say if lockdown will end in spring” as a direct quote from the Prime Minster, boarding international flights at the end of April are highly unlikely
- Even if lockdown does end there are new restrictions on people wishing to leave the UK to go abroad – they must first “make a declaration for why they need to travel” (the only reasons allowed are work that cannot be done from home, medical appointments, and educational reasons). This will be enforced by police and, “anyone who doesn’t have a valid reason for travel will be directed to return home or they will face a fine.” Sadly a wedding is not one of these reasons.
- With all of the shops in London closed I will not be able to even pick up my wedding dress, never mind do the fittings
- Lockdown also means we will be unable to get wedding rings, take dance lessons, or half a dozen other small things
- Since March 2020 there has been a presidential ban prohibiting any UK citizen from entering the US and since Biden upheld this presidential proclamation earlier this month none of Mark’s family could attend nor could any of our friends from England
- According to the CDC weddings are the highest risk type of event and the guidance, which is likely to become law, includes a mandate for masks and social distancing at all times (this would include vows with masks on and no dancing)
I could go on and on but this is enough for now. For today, I am done talking about this and I am going to put this to bed. My new focus is going to be to get in a more positive frame of mind – I still get to marry my favorite person but it is certainly not going to be 100 days from today.
Does it make sense now why I am postponing my wedding?