Today marked 100 days until my wedding. With just over three months until I am supposed to be getting ready to walk down the aisle I have a list of things I am supposed to be doing – from picking my veil to deciding what my flower girl wears – but all of that is on hold. Because I am postponing my wedding. (Insert tears, many tears).
Making this call was incredibly difficult, but in my heart of hearts I know it is the right thing to do. I have only told a dozen or so people and while half completely understood and sympathized, the other half have asked why? Well to clear this up, it has nothing to do with Mark and my relationship status – we are great (or as great as one can be in lockdown). The reason? One word. “Pandemic”. And yes, I am fully aware this is not a new thing, but given the state of the virus in both the United States and the United Kingdom having dozens of people gather May 8th is just not a sensible thing to do.
While I originally only told a handful of people right now a version of the card above is making its way around the globe letting our guests know we are moving from a Spring wedding to a Fall one. And because I have trouble putting this into words I borrowed a suggested text “Due to COVID-19, we’ve decided to postpone our wedding. Your health and safety are our top priority, and we hope you’ll save our new date. We wish you and your loved ones all the best, and look forward to celebrating together!” So there you have it.
The other question people keep asking “are you okay?” And to be honest, no. I am not okay. I am extremely sad. I love Mark, I can not wait for him to be my husband, and I was counting down the days. With London in lockdown not being able to go to work, the shops, the theater, restaurants, to see friends, or really to leave the house at all May 8th was my bright spot on the horizon.
To try and move past this I am attempting to put in into context – I am healthy, safe, have a roof over my head, food to eat, a job, and someone who loves me – and there are many far worse off. I do know this and I am grateful but that does not mean it does not still suck. And while I really do not owe anyone an explanation I find this space a therapeutic outlet so here are a few of the reasons I am postponing my wedding beyond the word pandemic (not in order):
- I value the health and safety of our friends and family and given the delays in vaccines, particularly in the US, I estimate more than 90% of guests will not have received even their first dose by early May
- The inability for Mark and I to travel due to the London lockdown – with headlines like “”Too early’ to say if lockdown will end in spring” as a direct quote from the Prime Minster, boarding international flights at the end of April are highly unlikely
- Even if lockdown does end there are new restrictions on people wishing to leave the UK to go abroad – they must first “make a declaration for why they need to travel” (the only reasons allowed are work that cannot be done from home, medical appointments, and educational reasons). This will be enforced by police and, “anyone who doesn’t have a valid reason for travel will be directed to return home or they will face a fine.” Sadly a wedding is not one of these reasons.
- With all of the shops in London closed I will not be able to even pick up my wedding dress, never mind do the fittings
- Lockdown also means we will be unable to get wedding rings, take dance lessons, or half a dozen other small things
- Since March 2020 there has been a presidential ban prohibiting any UK citizen from entering the US and since Biden upheld this presidential proclamation earlier this month none of Mark’s family could attend nor could any of our friends from England
- According to the CDC weddings are the highest risk type of event and the guidance, which is likely to become law, includes a mandate for masks and social distancing at all times (this would include vows with masks on and no dancing)
I could go on and on but this is enough for now. For today, I am done talking about this and I am going to put this to bed. My new focus is going to be to get in a more positive frame of mind – I still get to marry my favorite person but it is certainly not going to be 100 days from today.
Does it make sense now why I am postponing my wedding?
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Julie says
I feel your pain too and am very sorry that you have to postpone. It is the rational thing to do especially since his family will be able to attend. I would be very sad if my family was not there to share in my happy day.
It is ok to be sad, I hate when people say don’t be sad as they are not true to their feelings. We all need to have our pity party, acknowledge what we are feeling and then yes, although it is hard, put one foot in front of the other. Then try to put all the good things about your life in your mind and slowly rise about your setbacks.
Holding good thoughts for you.
Lori says
I think you made a really smart decision, in October you will be able to celebrate bigger and better! Can’t wait to continue reading about your wedding planning and see photos of your big day!
Barbara says
Oh no, I think the worst element is that you would not have your dress! Fingers crossed the virus will be much more under control in the Fall.
Let’s hope that the new J and J vaccine has good results, gets approval quickly and that they can make a ton of it.
Finger and toes crossed.
TAMMY says
Dear Kelly. I feel for you. This china disease is affecting everyone’s life in a negative way. I am using Trumps words because he is at least right on that. Voting for him-No. He is not qualified. He was only good for Wall St. Boyfriend had the year of his life last year on Wall St. He knows that Trump is nuts too. I know you wanted to marry Mark right now in the worse way and I am sure he feels the same. I want to marry my boyfriend too but he said himself that he won’t have a wedding where everyone has to wear a mask. I been married before so I do feel your pain. As for the vaccine I am not so sure on that right now. Still too many questions with no answers. Hopefully in 6 months you can have your dream wedding. My advice aim for then.
Richard says
My fiancé and I had to do the same thing and she is crushed but I told her that it is better to have all of our friend and family together to celebrate and to keep everyone safe.
Hope it was not too bad rescheduling everything.
Casey says
That must have been such a hard decision but I understand why you chose to do this!
So many of my friends have had to do the same thing.