Things My Three Year Old Has Said

Lily turned three back in March, and just before her birthday she officially “graduated” from both Early Intervention and her private speech therapy. We are so incredibly proud of her, and these days she is talking up an absolute storm.

Besides the nonstop “whys” and questions as she tries to figure out how the world works, she has also developed some very strong opinions, a surprising amount of sass, and a way of phrasing things that makes Mark and me laugh on a daily basis.

Three is such a funny age because she is constantly listening, absorbing, and then repeating things back in ways we absolutely do not expect. Her vocabulary seems to grow every day, and with it, so does the running commentary.

Here are a few of my favorites lately:

——-

Me: “Lily, let’s finish coloring Uncle Adam’s birthday card.”

Lily:  “No Mama, Lily no have time.”

Apparently her schedule was packed.

——-

*After her first time using a porta-potty at a concert:*

Lily:  “Lily no like this. No flush, no sink, not nice.”

Honestly, I cannot argue with that review.

——-

*Watching me try to get Mark’s attention at the playground:*

Lily:  “Maaaa-k. MAAAA-RK. **MMAAARRRKKKK!**”

*Turns to me.*

Lily:  “Why isn’t he listening? Ugh.”

The dramatic sigh really completed the moment.

——-

Helping me make a large batch of blueberry oat pancakes:

Lily: “Mama, why you no put on properly? Silly Mama, you put on properly AND put away.”

She was referring to the Trader Joe’s coconut oil spray I had used for the griddle, which apparently I had failed to return to its proper place quickly enough.

I did not realize I was being supervised.

——-

Grabbing my laptop:

Lily:  “Wait, Lily do work.”

Me: “What kind of work?”

*No response from Lily.*

Me: “Lily, does Daddy have a job?”

Lily: “Yes.”

Me: “What is Daddy’s job?”

Lily: “Daddy works for Lily.”

After I stopped laughing, I asked for some clarification.

Me: “Doing what?”

Lily: “Daddy sings Lily songs. Daddy makes Lily food. Daddy reads Lily books.”

And there you have it. Mark’s official job description, according to his three-year-old boss.

——-

After I told her we were done putting on sunscreen at the pool:

Lily: “No Mama, it is sunny. We need more.”

See the photo for this post as proof that Lily takes sun protection very seriously.

——-

Walking along the sidewalk of a shopping plaza and spotting Target:

Lily: “Mama, we go in?”

Me: “No Lily, we don’t need anything at Target today.”

Lily: “WHAT? Why not? Lily like Target. We go. We find snacks.”

A girl who knows exactly what Target is for.

——-

And these are just the ones I can remember off the top of my head. I am absolutely positive there have been dozens more that I desperately wish I had written down in the moment.

Watching Lily find her voice has been one of the sweetest things, especially after all the work she put into speech therapy over the last few years. Now that she has so much to say, apparently we are going to hear *all* of it — including critiques of my housekeeping, Mark’s listening skills, public restroom facilities, and our deeply questionable decisions to walk past Target without going inside.

I am going to start keeping a running note on my phone because I have a feeling “Things My Three Year Old Has Said” may need to become a recurring series.

If you all find these even half as funny as I do, I’ll definitely share another instalment of funny things my three year old says!